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Top 10 Things not to Say to a former New Orleans resident:

• 10. "Can you please keep your neighbors out of our local street gangs?"
• 9. "I'm glad we can depend on FEMA."
• 8. "So what do you think of the war in IRAQ?"
• 7. "My mistake, I thought the Lower Ninth Ward was a prison block."
• 6. "Who cares about your house, at least the French Quarter still stands."
• 5. "Looks like Ray Naygen is getting more of a Vanilla City, here comes Vanilla Ice."
• 4. "In this house, the Bayou comes as close as the kitchen."
• 3. " "
• 2. " "
• Finally. " ?"

Top 10 Things not to Say to someone who is 30 and still not been on a date:

• 10. "So why is it that you are paying child support?"
• 9. "Happy Father's Day, Ooops my mistake"
• 8. "So your free Saturday, can you help me move in with my girlfriend?"
• 7. "Your condoms are made out of what, Sheepskin?!"
• 6. "Which Just for men's hair color did you use?"
• 5. "Oh, your having problems with your sex life, mine's great!"
• 4. "Can you please turn down the Star Wars movie, I can hear it in the apartment upstairs again."
• 3. " "
• 2. " "
• Finally. "Are you Sure it Works?"

Top 10 Things not to Say During a Job Interview :

• 10. "You Don't Do Random Drug Testing Do You?"
• 9. "I've lived in this county my whole life, but still have a crush on my sister."
• 8. "I Love playing the odds, that's why I'll make a great corporate buyer!"
• 7. "Is medical marijuana covered by your insurance?"
• 6. "Sexual Harassment, Do It everyday, it’s like a work of art: I prefer brunets!"
• 5. "Does Dress Down Fridays include nudity?"
• 4. "My only reference is my jail guard, but he will tell you I can mop the floors with a gentle hand."
• 3. "As my application says I have good references including: Eric Rudalph, Michael Jackson, Kenneth L. Lay, Bernie Evers, & Martha Stewart"
• 2. "How good looking are the secretaries who work here?"
• Finally. "I don’t like authority!"

Saturday, April 30, 2005
Top 10 Things an OnStar Rep Does Not want to hear from Their Customers:

• 10. "I've Just had a flat tire, Will you Go Out with me?"
• 9. "I'm Drunk, so can you start my car for me?"
• 8. "I've just had an interesting experience at an interstate restarea!"
• 7. "I've just hijacked this car, can you give me directions to the nearest skyscraper?"
• 6. "My car is stalled and I need to go to the bathroom."
• 5. "Help OnStar, How far is Las Vegas? I Don't want to go through with my wedding!"
• 4. "I'm in the red light district, can I have some phone numbers?"
• 3. "Why is the entire police force following the white bronco I am traveling in?"
• 2. "This is Halli Berry, I am sitting in my driveway, but I think I have hit two people on the way home."
• Finally. "I'm Lonely."

Tuesday, April 26, 2005, Another Top 10!
Top 10 Things not to say to a fantasy gamer:

• 10. "How could Atari lead to this?"
• 9. "Do you always dress like that?"
• 8. "Respect your Eldors."
• 7. "When Did GI Joe start making metal figures?"
• 6. "Is that a D20 in your pocket (20 sided dice)?, No it's a D12."
• 5. "Man What happened to the players on those baseball cards!"
• 4. "Why do the girls have short hair and the guys have long hair?"
• 3. "Are you gonna sunburn while walking out to the car?!?".
• 2. "Blame it on Terrain."
• Finally. "Has anyone seen Ashley?"

Tuesday, April 18, 2005, Really funny, not appropriate!!
Top 10 Things Not to Say to Someone whose family member Just Got Hit by a Train:

• 10. I guess he bit off more than he could choo choo.
• 9. He thought he had it but just ran out of steam.
• 8. Sometimes you should not do the loco-motion.
• 7. He finally found his train of thought.
• 6. That's why they call it track and field.
• 5. He missed the Last Train to Clarksville.
• 4. He stopped dead in his tracks.
• 3. I guess he had a one track Mind.
• 2. He had a poor track record.
• Finally. He's all over the tracks.

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